Q: In your book, “The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online” you tell readers that you were an early adopter of online dating technologies. Do you have a funny recollection from those early days?

One of my first dates actually went berserk in a restaurant as he thought I looked like his dead wife. I kept apologizing for his loss as he was showing the other patrons who were dining photos of his late-wife to see if they agreed with him.


Q: How has the internet dating landscape changed since you first clicked on?

I created my first online dating profile 16 years ago. This was during the days of the slow dial up connection, where more often than not, you ended up with a hefty monthly usage bill. The male to female ratio was about 70% men to 30% women. In 1994, Internet dating was looked upon as a resource for the dating-challenged. There certainly was a stigma associated with online dating in the early days. Now, the balance is almost an equal amount of men and women looking for love online. The technology has vastly improved with high-speed Internet, WIFI, and mobile dating. It's easier to meet someone quicker and the universe of members has grown dramatically. It's common to hear online dating stories every day. From the hairdresser to the nail salon and the dry cleaners,  everyone knows someone who met their spouse online.


Q: We understand you have been engaged and received several marriage proposals but have yet to meet Mr. Right.  Do you expect that you will find him online?

I can honestly say there have been several Mr. Rights that I have been fortunate to have met. Although I'm no longer engaged to my fiance, I credit him for saving my father's life (a story for another time). That's an online dating success story.   It's quite likely that I will meet someone online, but I'm open to all of the possibilities.


Q: There are so many dating sites from which to choose, how can people select the right spot in which to settle down?

Online dating is a numbers game. Keep in mind, not everyone is looking to settle down. Some people just want to date. Perhaps they are going through a divorce and aren't ready for a serious relationship or are just serial daters.  Fortunately, both the number of online dating sites and active members have increased dramatically. As a result, there's something for everyone.  If you are truly interested in settling down, you need to find a site that focuses on singles who are looking for serious relationships. Ask other couples who have met online what site they were members of. If religion is important to you, than join a site that focuses on your faith. It's important to be very specific in your online dating profile. If you want to get married,  make sure you say so on your profile. Sending away those who aren't marriage-minded is a good thing.


Q: You have been very successful at building a brand. What advice would you give to all the single bloggers, authors and entrepreneurs out there who are trying to do the same?

First of all, be authentic. I chose to share some very personal stories in a very public way. It helped me engage with my fans and clients.  Second, be consistent with your marketing and branding. For Cyber-Dating Expert®,  I tied my brand, book, and other media together. My logo remains consistent in all forms of media, both online and offline. Third, reach out and connect with others in your space. Remember, it's a collaborative effort that will help you maintain brand recognition.


Q: Publishing has changed dramatically in the past few years to the point when many people are taking the DIY approach. Would you recommend self-publishing to new authors?

This is a very good question, and a timely one at that. Self-publishing and e-books were big topics of discussion last week at Book Expo America. At the time I wrote my first book, it was important to me that it was traditionally published.  I viewed self-publishing in the same light that I viewed online dating in the 1990s. I thought a traditionally published book would make a difference in the amount of media attention my book would receive.  I believed at the time there was still a stigma associated with self-publishing. Now, with both print-on-demand so easily available and the increase in sales for e-books, there is a trend and shift towards do-it-yourself publishing. Good content will always be good content, no matter how you publish it. I work with authors on their social media strategies and help them make this decision every week. Now, more often that not, I recommend self-publishing if you have written a book and would like to see it published sooner rather than later.  With self-publishing, you will make more money for each book sold. You can handle this without an agent.


Q: How do you differentiate yourself from other dating coaches?

I believe as a dating coach that your relationship with your clients is very personal. Just like there are different online dating services for different people, the same holds true for dating coaches. Someone will resonate with me  as I offer 16 years of personal experience in the online dating space. I know how to create an irresistible online dating profile that will help you stand out in the crowded playing field. This includes the right amount of words both in your profile as well as in the email exchanges.  My work with my private clients is usually done in person with follow up sessions via telephone. I also work with singles out-of-state via phone and email. Many of my clients are not computer savvy. They really need hand-holding throughout the process. As a dating coach, it's important to help your clients during the dating process, even if they are dating someone exclusively.  I also frequently get calls from married men and women who need to put the spark back in their relationship and need some help along the way. Love never goes out of style and you always need to work on your dating skills. Often, my clients will want help on what to wear on a date, need guidance as to  when to take their profile down, talk about when is the right time to have sex and even need help in ending their relationships. It's truly a personalized full-service package that I offer.

Q: How did you become the eFlirt Expert?

I wrote my first online dating profile ten years ago when dating on the Web was taboo.  I learned what works and what doesn’t work, followed how online dating practices evolved and became an online dating evangelist.  My friends soon started putting their single selves up on the Web, but they were wary and confused.  They came to me seeking advice and I straightened out their digital dating lives and helped them transition to in-person dates.  Soon, they were getting better response, going on great dates and moving in with their significant others.  In addition to personal experience, I also worked in marketing for many years.  Since online dating is marketing your single self, my work with Fortune 100 companies translates to singles as well. Now, I fuse my personal experience dating online with my professional background in marketing to help singles communicate in a wireless world.

Q: What type of services do you offer to online daters and why do you think they are becoming increasingly necessary?

Our services include everything from an eMakeover (a facelift of sorts for your online dating profile) to ghostwritten emails for your matches to wing woman services and much more.  In today’s society, our lives are increasingly digital and online suave has become important for singles.  More people are joining online dating sites and downloading mobile apps which means that when someone searches for you, many others also appear.  If you blend into the background, you might not catch the eye of your perfect match!  We help you stand out online while remaining completely authentic to yourself.

Q: Your new VIP service feels a lot like matchmaking service. Is this something from which women can benefit?

eFlirt Expert VIP is for independent and executive singles.  Most of my clients that use this service are busy and don’t have enough hours in their day to comb through matches and email dates. We lift some of the time burden and manage their online dating accounts as well as bring our strategic eye to enhance their online presence.  While they do advise us on their preferred matches, we also give “bonus matches” which is in a sense, like online matchmaking.

Q: According to you, “a profile is a personal marketing campaign.” What are some strategies for getting the most eyeballs?

The first and last lines are most important because they are your initial and final impressions.  The first line should be something different and interesting so your match wants to continue reading, and your last should be a strong yet subtle call to action.

Length is critical, too.  If it’s too long, your match won’t read the whole thing and “convert” by clicking that “email you” button.  If it’s not long enough, they’ll move on because they didn’t learn enough about you.  The rule of thumb is that you should be able to read the entire profile in about two minutes.

Q: A lot of singles are taking their search to social media sites like Twitter and Facebook. What are some important things to consider before doing so?

•    Who are you trying to reach?  Dating via social media sites needs to be approach differently if you’re trying to date current friends or followers rather than say, meeting people who aren’t current connections or being introduced to friends of friends.
•    Make sure that your privacy stays intact.  If you are friending people you aren’t familiar with on Facebook, you should update the privacy controls for that group so they can’t see your offline contact information, college you attended, etc. 
•    If you link your social media accounts to a location-based mobile app like Foursquare, think before you announce your check-ins.  Are you with family, an ex or a date?  If you’re not comfortable being approached by a potential match, announce it only to your friends on the apps rather than through your social media outlets.

Q: Can you give us an example of a success story who found love because of you?

Sure! I worked with blogger Single City Guy (www.singlecityguy.com) for several months on his online and offline dating life.  I wrote his profile, took his photos, raided his closet and went personal shopping, ghostwrote emails to his matches and taught him the art of crafting messages to his matches.  Armed with these tools, he met his lovely girlfriend online.

Q: Do you have one profile writing tip that can help our readers stand out from the rest of the online daters?

Be specific.  If you like to go skiing – where?  If you love Italian food – what dish is your favorite?  The more specific you are, the clearer the virtual portrait  of your personality you’re painting.  It helps people remember and understand you as more than just another profile in the huge digital pile.

Q: What is the number one eFlirting technique that is not being leveraged?

Location based mobile dating apps.  They’re the hidden jewel of online dating at the moment!  You can integrate online dating into your regular life by going from online to offline seamlessly.

Q: Congratulations on the release of your new book  "If He's Not the One, Who Is?" Can you tell our readers a little bit about it?
Yes! This book isn't just another dating book that tells you who's next and how to meet him. More importantly, I talk about what's next for YOU. What areas of your life do you want to focus on so you can celebrate yourself, starting today? If you find yourself suddenly single at an age or time in your life that you never expected, how can we reinvent so you fall madly in love with yourself and your life? I also share how you can cut down on wasted dating time in the future by getting really clear about what you want, and who would be an appropriate candidate to match your vision, PLUS how to tell the difference between Mr. Wrong, Mr. Next, and Mr. Right.

Q: Your first book, "It's a Break-Up, Not a Breakdown" sends a very  inspiring message. How do you help suddenly singles go from "Boohoo" to "Woohoo"?
It's a process, and it takes time. There are no quick fixes, which is the bad news. However, as you let yourself feel the pain, disappointment, loss, and frustration that your last relationship has ended, you give yourself permission to grieve. And in time, you allow yourself the space to re-envision your future and get excited about it. Eventually, you WANT to move on. That's when the Woohoo! sets in.


Q: You also have a 21 one day breakup recovery program. What are some of the tactics you include in your wellness plan?

The 3 most important parts of breakup recovery are:

1. Cut your ex out of your life or at least create new boundaries. 
I get the most resistance from my clients on this rule. But here's the deal. Your ex is now your ex. There's a reason it didn't work out. Do you REALLY want to stay connected, still have feelings for him, and slowly watch him move on with his life while you're a mess on the bathroom floor? It happens over and over again when women stay connected. That's why you must cut your ex out of your life, or at least create some serious new boundaries if you have to stay in contact because of children or a job.

2. Get a Boohoo Crew.
Now that your ex is out of your life, you must recruit your support system who cheers you on, lets you cry, and kicks your butt when you've been moping for too long. You can't do it alone. Don't even try.

3. Focus on YOUR future
Don't worry about what's next for your ex. Don't obsess about if and when he'll start dating again. Get excited about YOUR new life. What do you want to do next? Start living for YOU!

Q:  What are 3 warning signs that a relationship is doomed from the start?
When there's everyday drama, when you can't openly and easily communicate, when you're not equally invested in the relationship.

Q: Do you think women and men can/should be friends after a break up? Why or why not?
Men seem to be able to stay friends and still heal their hearts and date other people. Women can't. We're not wired that way. Our heart stays connected and that means we aren't moving on. Bad news for us when we realize we've been holding out hope of reconciling and he's already in a new relationship. Ouch!

Q:  Best but least expected places to meet singles?
The grocery store. You can tell a lot about a man by what's in his grocery cart. One of my clients met her husband at Trader Joes. Another one regularly meets men at Whole Foods. Next time you go grocery
shopping, throw on a cute sweater and put some lip gloss on!

Q: How does one deal with the uncomfortable "bump into" moments that are bound to happen after a split?
With grace, humility, and a sense of humor. And have your Boohoo Crew on speed dial.


Q: What about the friend factor. Can/should you stay closely connected to your ex's close circle? And if not, how do you deal with that sudden separation?
Friends can be casualties of a breakup. It would be great if everyone could stay connected and friendly, but how are you going to heal and move on if you're still going to all the same parties and social gatherings as your ex?


Q:  Any other words of wisdom?
As women, we are more resilient than we can imagine. When we give ourselves permission to reinvent and move on, magic happens! I see it time and time again with my clients, and it's always breathtaking and heroic.

Q: You are one of the rare career coaches who focuses on singles issues. What inspired you to start Singles Career Coaching?

There was a point in my life where I needed career and life coaching myself, and I felt frustrated because it seemed the professionals who offered their advice didn’t understand the single lifestyle and the special challenges singles face. I spent a great deal of time searching for professional coaches – specifically for single adults – and I kept coming up empty. So around that time, I decided to provide a much-needed service for the singles community.

Q: How can singles ensure that the benefits they receive from your services are on par with their married peers?

For many single adults, career success and personal satisfaction is not always just one job away. In today’s turbulent economy and dwindling job market, single adults face special challenges – they have to do it all on their own. They don’t have a spouse or partner to “fall back on,” so to speak.

Single professionals also need special tools, resources and support to advance their careers or transition to a different career while still maintaining balance in other areas of their lives. So, I offer presentations, workshops, training sessions and one-on-one coaching for singles to help them in various capacities, such as:

• Landing their dream job
• Getting out of debt
• Earning more money
• Establishing a plan for financial freedom
• Transforming their career
• Attaining a promotion
• Gaining skills for more advanced jobs
• Launching or expanding a business
• Increasing business profitability

Q: In your opinion, what are the three most common problems individuals face due to their solo status?

Singles face many special challenges in today’s economy and social milieu:

• Singles may not have an intimate partner to lean on. They have no second income to help “cushion” them through their own transition times or periods of regrouping.

• Singles may not have the benefit of a listening ear or sounding board with whom to discuss goals, frustrations and strategies for moving on in life. This, in turn, makes them worry more because they just don’t have anyone close enough to just “hear them,” and they frequently feel very alone.

• Singles often don’t know what to do to get to the next step. Singles need structure in their lives, and they need objectivity from someone else’s perspective to set milestones along their career paths, as well.

Q: The holidays are right around the corner. How can individuals utilize the company party to get ahead in their career?

Network, Network, Network!
If you are attending your own company party, be careful that you don’t give the illusion that you want to leave the company, even if you’re very unhappy; never burn bridges, especially before you’ve crossed them! Also, casually approach only those who you believe have the authority to make decisions in the company. Nine times out of ten, professionals really appreciate and feel respected when others ask for their advice. And, if you see unfamiliar faces, by all means, introduce yourself—they may be your stepping stone to a fantastic opportunity. Finally, it’s very important to be a great listener and observe what others are talking about.

If you are attending another company’s party, again, listen and observe – your eyes and ears are often your best “networking” antennas, so use them! Also, it’s not the time to be shy -- make the rounds to unfamiliar faces and get to know more about what they do – people genuinely enjoy talking about themselves, so “What do you do?” is always a great conversation-opener.

Q: You offer career retreats for single adults. Can you tell our readers what is involved in these special getaways?

Yes. Whether you look at it as a mini-vacation with life-changing results, or an intensive opportunity to create a better future for yourself, these weekend packages are an investment you'll never regret.


I use my connections, resources and experience in business and career building exclusively for singles. Singles Career Coaching offers thorough career planning services that include:
• Consultation with a Professional Resume Writer so that your best assets make the first impression;
• Consultation with a Corporate Image coach so that your appearance matches your potential;
• Specialized, industry-based Personalized Career Assessments to ensure that you are using your unique talents to the best of your ability;
• Tools and Techniques to help you create and obtain achievable and audacious career goals;
• Career-focused tools that will keep you motivated and moving forward, even when you feel you’ve lost momentum;
• Strategies designed to help you create your dream career faster than you ever imagined.
This all-inclusive event is designed especially for the needs of single people who are striving towards career success and fulfillment. The all-inclusive plan means that your luxury transportation (excluding airfare), meals and lodging are already covered so that you can concentrate fully on activities created to move you towards your dreams faster than ever.

Q: Discrimination in the workplace is a hot topic, but when it comes to singles that subject is often not addressed. Why do you think this is the case, and how can individuals better deal with this form of unfair treatment?

Having experienced this treatment first-hand, it is important to realize that sometimes society automatically believes that if you are single, you do not have as many responsibilities as married people have and therefore have more time at your disposal to invest in working late, long hours and/or on weekends. As most singles know, that is not true. It is a fact that due to this mind-set in the working world, most singles tend to overcommit themselves, which leaves them without time to take proper care of their personal needs. And this, of course, leads straight to burnout.

It is essential that singles understand that they have a choice in their work environment. Most of the time, you can say “no” without it affecting your job. Certainly there will be times when overtime is required, but when it is not, don’t go out of your way to be the hero. Remember, you have a life too. If you feel as if you don’t, feel free to contact Singles Career Coaching, and I guarantee you will discover a new, fresh perspective.

Q: Love happens in the workplace. What is your advice to individuals who are dating up or dating down?

Regardless of whether they are dating “up or down,” I ask them to ponder a few questions:

If this relationship would cease, would it be hard to see or work with this person every day in the course of your job duties?

Could you stand your co-workers’ inevitable “whispers” around the office or workplace? If so or if not, how would you deal with it?

If you break up and your ex started dating someone else in your office, how would you feel?

Will the relationship make a negative mark on your career in the long term?

I also ask them to evaluate their career, into which they have invested a great deal of time, money and hard work, versus a relationship that may or may not be successful in the long term.

Q: What three things can job seekers do to improve their professional resumes?

1. Keep it up to date! Take it out and give it a critical look now and then; things happen so rapidly in the working world that you may often neglect to include very important successes, awards, tributes, contributions, publications, and new skills or courses you’ve taken.

2. Don’t forget to include all of your recent achievements; if you ignore your own successes, others will, too! Don’t let your success go unnoticed!

3. Also, customize your resume to be relevant to each job for which you apply. Have several “flexible” resume templates on hand for that unexpected tip or interesting job for which, by simply tweaking your resume to highlight your expertise in a certain area, you’ll be a solid contender.

Q: These days most resumes are submitted electronically. What can individuals do to make sure their application gets past the influx of resumes in order to land a first interview?

A great tip is to look for the keywords in the job description and tailor your resume to the job posting, making sure you have those keywords in your resume or cover letter. However, always be truthful about your achievements and job duties.

Q: Any other words of wisdom?
- Set goals that ignite your passions, and achieve those goals according to a structured timetable;—Discover and use your hidden talents;
- Create a fulfilling career and personal lifestyle;
- Keep moving forward in spite of obstacles.

Contact Sandra S. Sea

(888) 267-4140 telephone

(888) 257-0253 fax

info@singlescareercoaching.com

www.singlescareercoaching.com